As we get closer and closer to moving into our new home, I can't help but thing of things I will and will not miss.
Let's begin.
Things I WILL NOT MISS...
1. In the apartment complex behind my moms house, there is a car whose alarm goes off EVERY FREAKING MORNING. I'm not kidding. 7:15am and HONK-HONK-HONK-HONK, you get the point. Every day. Without fail. I won't miss it. (and I'm sure Chris won't miss hearing me say "EVERY FREAKING DAY?" when it does goes off in the mornings while we're getting ready)
2. Not having a garage to park in. Which means I park under the neighbors pine tree that hangs over the driveway. Now that doesn't bother me, but the multi-family pigeons who have taken up residency in that tree do bother me. My car has been crapped on more than the lawn surrounding a duck pond! And that shit (literally) doesn't just easily wash off. You've got to put some serious muscle into scrubbing!
3. NOODLES ARE THE DEVIL! My mom is convinced that putting a few noodles down the sink drain is just like backing up a cement truck to the window, and unloading 1,200 lbs of fresh concrete into her drain. A NOODLE! The first thing I'm going to do in the new kitchen is pour a freshly cooked bag of ramen noodles down the disposal! I kid. But seeing as my cooking skills are lacking, that drain will see its fair share of mac n cheese and ramen noodles anyhow!
4. The freaking dogs. Two beagles and a black mutt (who has serious mental issues I swear). These dogs bark at EVERYTHING. They'll bark if they see a car drive by, they bark if someone in the apartments is close to the fence. The black dog barks at motorcycles, and the garbage man and when she sees a car pull up into the driveway. And it's a HIGH pitched bark. The kind that pierces your ears it hurts. I won't miss them. Not even a little bit.
5. The freaking dogs part 2. These dogs HOUND my mom. Now she's enabled them over the years and has never really taught them any different...but they are the neediest freaking dogs EVER. In the morning they wait at the door to the stairs for her to come up. Whining impatiently and once she's upstairs they bark until she's fed them. If you're standing in the kitchen, for whatever reason, they think it's a need to get a treat (which if it's anyone OTHER than me or Chris, they'll usually get one). They are probably fed 10-15 treats a day in addition to 2 meals with all their begging. Drives me insane to see a dog be in charge like that.
Bear is very much a part of our family, she was MY first baby after all, but at the end of the day she is still a dog and I am still her "master" and I refuse to let a dog be the boss of me that way. Pretty sure Bear is going to need Manners Bootcamp after this last year!!
6. Not having a separate shower/toilet area (see next post of THINGS I'M EXCITED FOR)
7. The apartment complex behind the house. Lets just say there are quite a few interesting people that live there and they all seem to have a very loud, very colorful language to them. I've never heard so many f-bombs dropped as when they BBQ on a nice sunny Sunday afternoon. Swear if you must, but that F'ing burger didn't jump from the f'ing plate by its f'ing self!
8. Space. Or major lack of. Try being confined to one bedroom between two adults and one infant. Then try containing a 5 and 8 year old to one bedroom with all their toys. My moms poor basement has been overrun by Monster High dolls and stuffed animals. I tried my best. I bought storage buckets and containers. But Christmas came and brought a castle and a pirate ship and an RV and motor home and more tiny step-on-with-your-bare-feet toys than you could imagine. Chris and I have already agreed that when we move into the new house we're sending the kids away for the day while we go through EVERY SINGLE TOY BOX/BIN/BASKET/BAG and will donate, chuck, melt, bury or anything else you can think of to get rid of some of their toy inventory.
9. The damn dogs again. Their beds are in the hall way. Why? Because the dining room and family room are gated off. So they sleep on beds in the hallway. Which is right outside the bathroom door and our bedroom door. I can't tell you how many times I've tripped over their beds or worse, them. Seriously, will.not.miss.them.
10. The solicitation calls. This was much worse when I was home all day, I bet that house phone rang 5x a day with telemarketers. I've added my moms phone number to the do-not-call list, but they still call. And my mom refuses to answer. So that means they either A) leave a message on the machine or B) let her phone number cycle through their system again for the next caller. I can't tell you how many times I've picked up the phone and said "PLEASE REMOVE THIS NUMBER FROM CALL LIST". "But ma'am..." Click!
Things I WILL MISS...
1. My mom. Even though we can get on each others nerves at times (who? us?) I will miss her. She's always up for a walk around the block, chocolate ice cream, going shopping or dining eat.
